What's the most valuable lesson you've learned in life, and how has it impacted your journey so far?
10.06.2025 03:42
Tess' boyfriend, Ed, now works as a Peter Lorre impersonator.
“Your boyfriend is a total perv, mommy.”
Torchy thinks: Maybe I could play a gangster's moll since apparently smoking is still seen as wholesome and American.
Two letters of transit signed by General De Gaulle … Stimpy, you eediot!
Sex! Lingerie! Knock knock jokes!
Only zombies dig to rock and roll, daddy-O!
Do most narcissists have good intentions as long as you are under their control?
Torchy, we're unemployed … And no one is hiring scantily-clad wastrels these days.
In 1954 complete bastard and censorship campaigner Fredric Wertham published a book for the stated goal of creating a moral panic around comic book's alleged impact on juvenile delinquency. Much like the House Committee on Un-American Activities' disastrous impact on the film industry, the Comics Code Authority (obey, puny humans) put many hardworking comic book characters out of work all because of one poorly written book called …
Every day is a good day to punch a Nazi! I mean MAGA! I mean the Comics Code Authority! (I can never remember who is who)
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But Tess! I mean Betty! I mean Veronica! (I can never remember who is who) which ever one you are, I love you!
And then working as Betty and Veronica's body doubles ...
And I ended up moonlighting in Japanese porn, but the less said about that the better.
TEXT:
Dick! I heard about the lay-off. What's a square-jaw crime fighter doing these days to bring in the bling?
Marijuana makes Jesus cry!
Did you become a cuckold for your wife?
Of all the layoffs, Torchy Todd and her gal pal, Tess Parker, were hit the hardest.
¡Explotando Dick por todos lados!
Times might be tough … But at least there's one thing we all agree on.
I hear you're a stunt-double now for Fred in Scooby-Doo.
Yes, Tess, crime doesn't pay but apparently Rated-G horror does.
After you lather me up with that strawberry hand lotion.
What are the reasons why am I so tired before my period?
Remember, kids, masturbation will make you see the devil everywhere!
Gadzooks! It's Torchy Todd slumming it in Yugoslavian science fiction! The shame!
At least until the peyote kicks in ...
I've also been making ends meet ... By appearing in Tijuana splatter comics as Evil Gringo #2.
Let's do what we always do, lay around half-naked while men make terrible jokes at our expense.
Perhaps now we can explore what being a “gal pal” really means.
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Before there was MAGA there was … the Comics Code Authority
Just you, me, in a vat of lime jello, pulling hair, calling each other names …
In order to answer this I came up with a little story that goes like this …
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Ironically, Wertham focused on stories about crime, singling out Batman and Robin for its gay subtext and Dick Tracy for its violence.
Make Nazis afraid again!
Shameless vixen! Trollop!
Why don't younger men like older women?
Speaking of which, poor Cleo Coco has ended up appearing in anti-vice pamphlets.